Blog / 2019 / Peeling Back the Layers

For me, being an artist is a constant process of peeling back layers of identity, examining those layers, and then looking at other people to see if I still connect with them. It’s like I’m studying myself and then turning outwards by sharing my art. I want to see how weird (or not) I am, and through my work I want others to see how weird (or not) they are.

It’s a vulnerable process, to be sure, but it’s the only way I feel challenged. And today I stepped up again, peeling back another layer.

I posted new goals on my Patreon profile—you can see them below or on the left side of my Patreon page. Since signing up to ask for microdonations four years ago, my goals have not been revealing in the least. Instead, I used the target of x amount of money per month as an excuse to give away paintings. And I was satisfied with this set-up until recently.

My change of heart—my desire to get more personal with my goals—is largely a result of Patreon stepping up and peeling back another layer. After responding poorly or not at all to violence on its platform in 2016 and 2017, the company is now taking responsible action.

A year ago, my confidence in Patreon had tanked for a number of reasons, and I was making noise about my displeasure. Today, I feel a little safer working with Patreon, a little more able to be a little more real. I’m grateful to the company for showing me that it cherishes the space it has created.

$700 per month

STARING DOWN THE WORRY MACHINE AND WINNING

$700 is a third of my monthly household expenses. If I knew I had this much covered every month, it would rewire my brain.

Already, your monthly support on Patreon has changed my life. Because I’ve been a freelancer my entire adult life, I never had regular money coming in until you started backing me on Patreon. I’m grateful for all that you’re giving now, and I’d love to see how $700 worth of security would nurture to my creativity!

$1400 per month

SITTING PRETTY

$1400 is two-thirds of my monthly household expenses. Meeting this goal would mean a level of freedom I’ve never had in my adult life.

It would mean the ability to visit my far flung family more easily. It would mean not having to overthink whether we can afford to treat ourselves to an avocado this week. It would mean finally being able to get a new tooth. (Since my last baby tooth came out when I was 32, I’ve had a gap where my body refused to make a grown-up tooth. I’d love to fill it in so that the surrounding teeth don’t suffer any more than they already have.) In short, $1400 a month would be my cup of tea!

$2100 per month

RAINBOW COW UNICORN MAGIC DANCE

$2100 covers my monthly household expenses completely. Reaching this goal would mean I can focus on the future that my partner and I are building. I could finally put all that financial planning training I’ve had to good use: I could contribute to my retirement regularly.

My vision would suddenly open up beyond the next few months and how much money we’ll need to keep on keeping on. The rainbow cow unicorn in my heart could finally dance!