Blog / 2016 / “You Think Too Much.”

Growing up, I considered it to be the biggest insult. Mostly because, unlike all the other things that were said to me, I worried that it was a very bad thing. “You think too much.”

As I came out of my teenage years, it only got worse. I saw the insult everywhere. People didn’t have to say it anymore. It was implied. In the break up conversations with friends or boyfriends. In the way that my refusal to drink or take drugs seemed to push people’s buttons. In all the ways I failed to fit in. “You think too much.”

Then, when I was 24, a miracle happened. I found someone who thinks too much and also happens to think a lot of me. Overthinking things never felt so right, and 11 years later we still think too much together.

A few months ago, someone said it to me again. They actually said the words I hadn’t heard since I was 18 and being let down gently by some guy I was crushing on. I was having what I thought was a pleasant conversation, and the person just said it. And then laughed. I replied, “good talking to you” even though I didn’t feel that way, and then I excused myself.

Over the next few days, I thought about it. A lot. I probably thought too much, but I think I finally understand what the person was saying to me, what everyone who says “you think too much” really means. They’re telling me that I make them uncomfortable, and they’re trying to be polite about it.

I’m still learning that it’s okay for not everybody to like me. In some ways, I get it, but I’m not all there yet. One day, I hope to be.