Artwork / Mutually Beneficial / For Richer or for Poorer

portrait of a man the artist met online
Gwenn Seemel
For Richer or for Poorer
acrylic on canvas patchwork
20 x 20 inches

When I first thought to create Mutually Beneficial, I knew the work would be complex. In some ways, all of my previous series—everything from Critics Critiqued to Public Faces—had focused on power dynamics, but I’d never placed myself in the dynamic in quite the same way before. For the first time, I was making myself vulnerable and, by that same token, also claiming the strength and power of portraiture more fully.

What follows is the personal ad which the subject of this portrait posted.

I wanna fall in Love, I want to fall in Love message in a bottle - 31

Reply to: anonPOST-123
Date: 2005-07-11, 2:27AM PDT

I woke and I can’t seem to get back to sleep as my mind has fallen into thought. I write because I’m putting this message in a bottle and throwing it out to sea for any of you to read as my mind is full of thought and maybe someone somewhere can really understand.

Just before I went to bed I had a funny thought as it was a thought of what I would do if I fell in love and got married within a couple of days I mean that’s the way alot of our parents did it and often times they're still togather or maybe they got 20 years and a family out of it before ending in divorce but that was enough to raise a family and see life as the way the world views it.

My thought was what would I do? I mean I spend so much of my free time chasing women hoping and looking to see if she is the one generally to be let down and often times scared to think what it would actually be like if I had to be with this one.

What I’m saying is I generally find so many women to be so far off base that it’s just not even real.

I think about the women I have known in my life that I met that I knew could have been the Woman for me and often times it was from what I saw, not just her outword beauty but the things that I saw deep within from her behavior and how she would dress right down to the way she would cross her legs as she sat down I could see that and it was clear as day.

I can say that in the last almost 10 years of my life I have only met a fiew but none of them had that same sight, it was as if they just weren’t ready yet.

I met a woman almost 8 years ago and another 3 years later and one 3 years after that and all of them were women well worth knowing, enough to where if I thought they would have taken me seariously I would have asked any one of them to marry me.

I see how things go in todays age and it surprises me.

I see how so many women insist on being independent as if that is really the way to be and yet I think deep down inside it’s because they’re scared, scared to trust in a man that he will be there for her and be faithful and take care of her when why do we as people go to churches to get married and say those things we do, to have and to hold for richer or for poorer in sickness and in health till death do us part and for the women to love honor and obay.

I am 31 years old and the fuel that has modivated me in everyway that has gotton me this far in life came from the idea that I will be a provider and have a family and I will take care of that family.

I never seem to find women anymore that I can look at them and say yes, this is the one that I want to give me that family I’m looking for and it’s because of the things I see and I see them every day.

I think when all the cards fall deep down that women know, they know right from wrong but yet they refuse to think as it’s like men and women are two stubborn old people who are at war.

If you show me you’re a Lady then you will see a gentleman but often times a gentleman is not what so many women are looking for.

I do the things I do in life and meet so many women and I have no problems getting them but still within I feel so empty as I see women who behave like men and I just don’t know why.

Have any of you the idea of how fast a mans head turns when we hear the sound of a pair of heels walking our way ?

I mean you know we look and still you almost have to beg to see a woman in a skirt. I have a friend who is not origonally from America and I cannot tell you how much I rest in her that when we talk she doesn’t view me as wrong for the things I say or the way I feel it’s just to bad she is so much older then I as her and I would be great togather.

I ran a post recently asking for a woman that has been to finishing school and to my suprise I got a responce but only to find her lack of interest.

There was a time when a man would buy a woman a dress because he wanted nothing but to see her in it and she was so excited because it was a new dress that she wanted nothing but to try it on and that he got it for her so she would try it on and he loved seeing her in it. In that idea there was 2 possitives in each, he got to see her wear it and made her happy for the gift and she loved looking nice and getting a gift that maybe was something that she couldn't afford.

I seem to find the only thing that bolth men and women seem to come togather on like this anymore is with sex but even then not really. she has her limits and he basically wants to fall asleep afterwords.

I often times find myself just looking for girls to be mine for the time as all so often women chase after all the wrong things so I mold to society and give them that for the time but deep down dream of finding that woman that can understand, can understand what it really means to be a woman.

I all to often see posts from women saying 22 single parent with 2 children and for the ones who are not like that they think oh so highly of themselves that they will really just end up with the man who’s the bigger liar.

So I move on and try to blend to those around me and it passes the time, it passes the time.

I’m very sure many of you will not like my post and will write to me saying that I’m an idiot for whatever I think and I see but I don’t care, maybe my post will get pulled before anyone else can really get a chance to read it but I still say I just don't care.

this is my message in a bottle and I have thrown it to sea, I only wonder if it could ever return to me and maybe just maybe I have reached somebody.

With that said I must say Goodnight.

portrait of a man the artist met online
detail image